Sunday, January 17, 2010

On the Seventh Day ... God Made Spiders

Anyone who has taken small children to church will know it is rarely a restful or prayerful experience. Some days are better than others; some days offer more unique challenges than others.

Today's challenge was an eight legged one. As usual, we sat in the front pew, alongside a slightly older couple (kids grown, kid friendly and used to Cherub). All went well until a large daddy long-legs or leggy spider of some variety ran down the sleeve of Mr F's jacket, catching the eye of Mrs F, who squealed involuntarily and flicked it off. This caught Angel's attention, and she bent over the pew to see what Mrs F was looking at. This, in turn, got Cherub interested. The first I knew of it was when I saw Cherub hanging over the top of the pew watching Mr Leggy climbing up the outside of the pew towards her.

Cherub claims to like spiders, but this was too much. Frantic squeals of "Get rid of it! Get rid of the spider!"  Angel reminded her she likes spiders ... "I only like little ones! Not big ones!"  As her volume increased I did the only thing I could think of. I grabbed the daddy long-legs.

Question. What to do when you find yourself in an exposed position during a quiet point of the Mass with a fistful of wriggling arachnid? The church was packed which meant no clear line of retreat to the exit. The windows were all shut, and in any case too high to reach. I contemplated dropping it on the floor a few rows back, but decided that dumping a large eight-legged creepy-crawly near some unsuspecting parishioner was not really fair.  Hanging on to the darned thing until the end of Mass was not an option. Then I spotted a bin for used candles under the votive candle holder. Phew! A new home for Mr Leggy.

Angel and I spent the next five minutes trying very hard not to giggle.


Anonymous said...

Lol, children eh? I truly believe God has a sense of humour about these things, even if other members of the congregation may not always.

My worst (yet funny) moments were both courtesy of Chatterbox. Just as our Pastor was about to give me the bread at communion, Chatterbox (about 4 at the time) held her finger in the air triumphantly and said loudly, "Mummy, I have a really big bogey!".

Second instance was when she'd just been toilet trained. At a very quiet point in the service during communion Chatterbox and I emerged from the toilets, Chatterbox shouted across to our Pastor, "B_ I've done a poo!"

It's a good job our Pastor loves children! :)


Theresa said...

LOL! I am so glad you didn't just squish it!