School Reunion

On Sunday I went to a school reunion, the first in thirty three years. I went to a selective, highly academic girls' school, which in those days was funded under the direct grant system - somewhere between a private and a state school, in that the fees payable were based on income, with about 10-15% having their places fully paid by the government. These days it is a fully fee paying school, still selective and geared to high academic achievement.

About half the members of our year made it to the reunion, and it was fascinating hearing what people had done since they left school. Two things particularly struck us. Firstly, that most of us had changed direction one or more times, with varied careers that often bore little relation to what we set out to do when we left school - careers which included motherhood for the great majority of us, for which our schooling gave us no preparation whatsoever. Secondly, it brought home to us how academically snobbish the school was (and I imagine still is) and how many people had their self esteem severely knocked by being judged as "not university material". I think all of these had subsequently proved the school wrong by acquiring degrees and discovering they were far more capable than the school had given them credit for, but there was clearly far too much pigeonholing of girls by the school's perception of ability (often inaccurate). I think for a number of people the reunion was an opportunity to confront and put to bed some not too happy memories.

Something else I realised was how narrow our social circles tended to be. Only one of my close friends was at the reunion, and I found myself having interesting conversations with people I don't remember ever speaking to in seven years at that school. With hindsight I am surprised I didn't have more contact with people outside my immediate friendship group. I get the impression that Angel and Star have much wider social circles than we did.

Overall the reunion brought back a mixed set of memories and made me glad that Angel and Star are at a very different type of school - one that aims to help its students achieve the very best they can, whatever their ability, rather than one that sets an extremely high bar and then dismisses as failures those who don't reach it.